No One Loves Bob as Much as Bob

Last week Bob came in for his prophy. As I start the cleaning he asks if he can listen to music. I say, “Sure man, of course!” He powers up his 2nd Gen. AirPods and starts tapping his leg to the beat. I should have asked him how he can afford those AirPods and not the crown he needs, but instead the conversation went like this:
  • Me: “What’re you listening to?”
  • Bob: “Kayne’s new album.”
  • Me: “Nice!”
  • Bob: “Yeah, I’m actually a Club Promoter. I sold out Madison Square Garden for Yeezy. I kind of hate him though. You know the song ‘Jesus Walks?’ I wrote that. EVERY. DAMN. WORD. Kanye stole my music and because of ‘some legal issue’ I haven’t seen a penny of the profits! He’s a con-man. You know his album ‘Graduation?’ That was me too. Every song.”
*Bob proceeds to tell me he also wrote music for Beyoncé, Eminem, and 50cent…all without ever getting credit. They all stole his work.* I should mention Bob had PSRs of 4 and didn’t believe in periodontal disease. Oddly enough I haven’t seen him since. Maybe he finally got the credit he deserved for Yeezy’s work after all…?

New Cause of Caries…U.F.O.s

Jean came into the office in a frantic panic. “What’s wrong?” I asked. She explained, “her teeth are being destroyed.” Concerned yet intrigued by the situation, I asked, “Tell me more about what’s happening and what you noticed?” Jean explains, “At night metal snakes rise out of my gums into my mouth, like you see in the alien movies, and eat away at my teeth, and it wakes me up! I get out of bed and can see them in my mouth when I look in the mirror but by the morning the teeth look normal again. I need your help doc, how do I stop them?!” …Dental school didn’t prepare me for this one!

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